Sometimes I wonder where the time goes, then I remember. The days pass with very little excitement most times. Very little that one could say means anything. But yet each day has more meaning than the last and each mundane task of life begins to make more and more sense. As I wake every morning to make my beautiful children a nourishing breakfast and pack them lunch, then sit down and have a cup of tea before spending the rest of the day cooking and cleaning and caring for mine, and others children till the night hours have arrived again, I think about how wonderful it is! How much a miracle every part is.
Joshua came to me tonight just to snuggle and be held by me and I thought about how blessed I am that my 7 and a half year old boy shows so much love and still receives love with open arms.
Adam is on night shift so I told Annabelle she could have a sleep over with me and she acts as if she has won the lottery, because to them, my love is the world. I can't believe it even as I am typing but it is true that I can make or break a day in their life by caring for them right or just brushing them off.
Yesterday we went to Joshua's soccer practise and I watched as Adam and Joel kicked the soccer ball around. I wished in that moment that Adam never was too busy or had other things to do than be with us. I saw Joel just light up in adoration to his father and I realized that his love is their world too.
All our children have strong faith in a God who never fails so I trust that when we do fail then they will know that they can always fall on Him who is higher than us all and find rest under His wings.
Some days aren't really fair and I feel sad and people don't always come through the way I so wish that they would so I am learning the true need to lean on God alone and to let the rest go.
I realize that though I do very little in the worlds eyes, my days are filled with great things that far surpass the greatness I could find in prestige or popularity. My days are filled with instilling the love of God into my children by my example. Adam and I are trying to take more time for us and I hope that the kids will experience a true example of Christ's love for His church through our lives together. I have been making special effort to try to plan some dates, no matter how little or big for Adam and I just to enjoy each other. It is far too easy when concentrating on kids to forget the love that made the children. It is time to get back to that but most of all, to focus on our First Love to teach us the way that love is meant to be.
Just a few rambling thoughts for the night. I miss you already Adam and you have only been gone an hour and a half. I love you.